What’s Up?
Friday afternoon at Gatorland was not good. Saturday morning was pretty darned good. After the client-less morning session, I went back to the hotel room to write this blog post. Though I am largely at peace with my Mom’s death, when I typed these words In Memoriam to my Mom: Hazel Louise Morris I began to cry and grieve. I had done the same thing the day before while older daughter Jennifer and I were going through a collection of old black and white family pictures. So things are as they should be.
ps: Saturday afternoon at Gatorland was killer good. It is now just after 9:00pm and I am at the airport waiting for my 10:15pm flight to Long Island. My Mom’s Memorial Service is tomorrow afternoon.
Gear Questions and Advice
Too many folks attending BAA IPTs and dozens of folks whom I see in the field, and on BPN, are–out of ignorance–using the wrong gear, especially when it comes to tripods and more especially, tripod heads… Please know that I am always glad to answer your gear questions via e-mail.
The Streak: 23!
Today’s blog post marks a totally insane, irrational, illogical, preposterous, absurd, completely ridiculous, unfathomable, silly, incomprehensible, what’s wrong with this guy?, makes-no-sense, 23 days in a row with a new educational blog post. As always–and folks have been doing a really great for a long time now–please remember to use our B&H links for your major gear purchases. For best results use one of our many product-specific links; after clicking on one of those you can continue shopping with all subsequent purchases invisibly tracked to BAA. Your doing so is always greatly appreciated. Please remember: web orders only. And please remember also that if you are shopping for items that we carry in the BAA Online Store (as noted in red at the close of this post below) we would of course appreciate your business.
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On our left, my Mom, Hazel Louse Morris. On our right, my Dad, Private First Class Robert Edward Morris, 1942.During or after basic training at Fort Bragg, NC. Bobby as Hazel liked to call him, was awarded a Purple Heart for his service. Several decades later, after moving to San Diego, my Dad learning that he had in fact been awarded a Bronze Star. Photos of my Dad with two arms are rare. |
In Memoriam to my Mom: Hazel Louise Morris
b: September 19, 1922. d: April 5, 2017
My Mom lived a long life. 94 years was a good run. She spent a good deal of it helping others. As many of you know, my Dad, Private First Class Robert E. Morris, was severely wounded on Okinawa in April of 1944. He was hit with 13 rounds of machine gun fire. He rolled out of the truck. Only he and the guy next to him were not killed instantly. That included the soldier he had traded seats with just minutes before because he had forgotten to return the guy’s canteen. My Dad’s best friend, a medic, ran over to help him. He took off my Dad’s coat and his right arm came off with it. His friend, the medic, ran away crying. Another soldier came over and did not know what to do. As I understand it my Dad said, “Take out my f—-ing shoelace and tie a tourniquet to stop the bleeding. His left arm was hanging by a thread.
A young Filipino doctor fought with the higher-ups to save my Dad’s left arm. He spent nineteen months all told in various hospitals, most of that time in Walter Reed Army Hospital in Washington D.C. I am pretty sure that I was conceived there … Once he was fully recovered, he went back to work at Roebling, Luggage, 121 Liberty Street in Manhattan, on the site of what was the original World Trade Center. He wound up pulling luggage off shelves for the next 30 years. I remember taking more than a few hard backhand shots to the back of my head from him into my early twenties. He was a tough man and didn’t take any crap.
So, my Mom put his socks and belt on for most of the next 54 years (except for the years when the three kids, Arthur — thats me, older sister Ilene, and younger-by-a-lot sister Arna Lee took over those chores). My Mom was a great cook and a great baker. She was an expert seamstress. She had a very tough childhood. Her mother whom she loved dearly died when she was thirteen and her mean S-O-B gave her over to the authorities. Then Hazel went into a succession of foster care homes. All of them had one thing in common: they used the money that they got from social services to buy food and beer and clothing for themselves.
Her accounting teacher suggested that she move into the YWCA when she reached her 18th birthday. And that is just what she did. She met Bobby then and within two years they were married (on May 15, 1942). My Dad was drafted. A some point after he had left, my Mom gave birth to my sister Carla. Carla died at age 10 days from infantile diarrhea, a frequent killer in the early 40s.
My Mom showed love by providing the three kids with the two things she had been deprived of in her childhood: lots of great food prepared expertly: fried flounder and fried veal cutlets to die for, a perfect bag lunch every day — often a tuna sandwich with the tuna well chopped up into small pieces with lots of mayo (just like I liked it) and a pack of two Hostess filled chocolate cupcakes. She made My-T-Fine chocolate pudding from scratch every week along with a batch of 144 toll house cookies. I always had perfectly laundered clothes, immaculate Cub Scout uniforms — she was a den mother of course, and hand-sewn Halloween costumes every year. I can still remember the pink and black clown costume she sewed up for me for Halloween when I was about 13. My Mom did lots of charity work for the Ida Lief Chapter of Deborah Hospital. It is no shock that she was named their Mother of the Year in 1966. My Mom was an incredible baker. More than a few men have requested a Hazel Morris apple pie from their death beds.
She did all the shopping, all the laundry, and cooked every meal for the family until 1969 when my Mom and Dad and younger sister Arna (with older sister Ilene only briefly) moved to San Diego, CA. She did all those same things for my Dad until his death on September 25, 2001 at age 80. They were married for more than 59 years. My Mom and Dad loved to bicker, but only when they were awake and in the same room.
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Hazel in Bob in hospital room, probably at the then Walter Reed General Hospital, 1945. |
At some point when my Dad was in his mid-70s, I asked him, “How is it that with you guys arguing all the time you never got divorced.” He said, and I quote, “I laid in that hospital bed for 19 months. I saw dozens of young brides walk up to the door of that room, take one look at their husbands with no arms and no legs, turn around, walk away, and never came back.” That was my Dad’s way of saying to my Mom, “Hazel. I love you. Thanks for staying with me for all these years.” He was doing his best but “I love you” was never part of his vocabulary. And he too was a great provider.
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Hazel Morris and son Arthur, circa 1947Above all else Hazel was dependable and loyal and faithful. And a great Mom. |
A while after they moved to San Diego they took a part time job with ALDA, the American Luggage Dealers association. Their job? Overseeing the production of their holiday catalog. Their seven-year run was so successful that they became the first non-store owners to be honored (as man and woman of the year) by that organization. In the early 1980s ALDA flew everyone in the family to New Orleans where there was a big dinner to honor my folks at the Superdome. Ordinary people, extraordinary lives.
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Alice Lockwood on our left, My Mom on our right. Probably somewhere in Brooklyn while my Dad was away … |
My Mom’s mother was Carla Smith. Alice Lockwood was her mother’s sister. So Alice was my Mom’s aunt and my great aunt. Alice was married to Frank H. Lockwood, my Uncle Frank. (Does everyone have an Uncle Frank?) Alice Lockwood did not go by Alice. She always brought lollipops for the kids so she was called Lolla or Lol for short. As I believe I have mentioned here before, Lol and Frank had an instrumental role in my life. When I was 12 or 13 they would drive down from the Bronx, pick me up in Brooklyn, and drive to Keyport on the Jersey shore to visit her Mom, Amanda Smith. The trip always entailed several hours on line waiting to get on the Staten Island Ferry.
It was in Keyport that I developed an appreciation for nature in the form of bugs, butterflies, insect, frogs, toads, and snakes. The funniest thing is that I had zero interest in birds back then. If you had asked me about them, I would have stated that bird watching was for sissies. That while I was running around in Marine Park in short pants with a butterfly net and a collecting jar. Go figure.
Please understand that I am very much at peace with my Mom’s passing. She had been on a walker for seven years and was simply tired of it all. I would like to offer my love and condolences to my younger sister Arna, my older sister Ilene and her family, My two daughters and their families, and to all the grandkids and great grandkids as well. Hazel Morris will be missed but she and all of her good deeds will always be alive in our hearts and minds. Love you Mom.
Your son, Arthur Edward Morris
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Typos
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Artie
There is a reason we call them the greatest generation. I just lost my WW2 vet Dad at 99. My mother (like yours) had a tough childhood in the depression. So I know exactly how you feel and are feeling.
Albert Ryckman
Artie,
I send my deepest condolences to you and your family. Peace and love be with you. May God comfort you during these times.
Raymond C. Murray in SC
Arthur, A fabulous family with caring and loving people. Your folks made the best of their lives.
We should all live with these attitudes and values. Thank you for sharing and for presenting great life information to think through. God Bless your Mother and Father.
A beautiful memorial to your mother, Artie, a joy to read!
my condolences to you. Your tribute to your Mom is wonderful
This is a lovely tribute to your mother. My heartfelt condolences to you, Arna and your entire family.
Thank you, Artie.
Mike Ewanus
A Great and Wonderful and Loving tribute to your Mom!
My condolences on the passing of your mom. I, too, was lucky to have a wonderful mother who lived into her 90’s. I miss her every day and am grateful for her influence in my life every day.
What a marvelous life your Mom led, and the story beautifully told by you! I enjoyed reading about her immensely. May your wonderful memories of her never fade!
Sorry for your loss, Art
Lovely tribute to make your mother proud. Prayers that these fond memories will continue to comfort you.
Art, sorry to hear the news
A beautifully written and touching tribute, Artie. I was always moved by how often you spoke here of visiting her so frequently these last few years, and that was probably the single thing she would have most wanted from you. Your lifetime spent as a passionate educator must have been a great satisfaction and reward for her.
From your writings it seems her long life and relationship with you, her son, was rich and loving – so I will say, congratulations, not condolences, as I am sure you returned to her all the comfort, support and love she could desire.
Bill
Really nice.
Thank you Artie, for sharing your life with us your many friends. Trying to put my thoughts into words is not easy. I too remember my Mom & Dad very fondly, I always will. Art you are a beautiful person and we Love for it.
An amazing story. And so American. Beautiful.
What a beautiful tribute…Looking back helps the healing process after a loss and sharing your memories is so touching. condolences and hugs to your family.
My sincere condolences on your loss.
Excellent!
Jack
Thank you. I cry with you.
Artie,
So sorry to hear this news, she had a long full life with loving children, grandchild and great grandchildren. May her memory be a blessing. aleha ha-shalom
Jeff
Thank you for such an excellent written tribute to your mom. I am reminded of the high price our veterans and their spouses have paid, and continue to pay, and how it was usually the moms that held the families together through such extraordinary times.
Deeply moved by your tribute, Artie. So good that you got to see her before she went. Sincere condolences to you and your family.
Artie: I hear the inside of your heart in your words, I too lost a special mom a few years ago that I (like you), beyond description deeply appreciated. Where, what would we be, without our moms! God bless ’em!
Peace be with you.
Walt Thomas
A very beautiful tribute to an amazing woman!
Thank you for posting the tribute plus your thoughts on your mother’s passing and on The Work.
Again, condolences.
In time the pain of your loss will fade, but there will always be a little place in your heart for your Mom & Dad who where very dear to you, and good hard woking perents.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Kel
UK
Thank you for sharing the story of your mom and my heart goes out to you and your family, Artie. She was a remarkable woman. I too lost my mom recently. Grieving as an older adult, I’ve come to learn, is a non-linear process. It can hit you at the oddest times. Wishing you solace and good memories in the days to come.
Great write-up about your exceptional parents ! Sorry for your loss.
Good Mother, Good Son, Good Family, Great Life.
What a great story of such an amazing life! Thanks for sharing this Artie and all the best wishes to your family.
A beautiful tribute. Sending you my sincere condolences and a wish for peace.
Janet
What an exceptional woman, and your extraordinary description will stay with me for a long time. Thanks.
A beautiful, moving tribute. I’m sure she was super proud of all that you have achieved.
My condolences, Artie. What a beautiful tribute.
Artie, such a beautiful tribute to your mother and father.
My condolences to your whole family.
What a beautiful tribute to your mom. She was an extraordinary woman!
What a warm, wonderful eulogy to a woman who gave so much of herself to everyone. She was a member of what Tom Brokaw called “The Greatest Generation” — “their perseverance through difficult times is a testament to their extraordinary character.”
A beautiful tribute to your mother. A loss always reminds me to tell others how much they mean to me while they can still hear me.
When the circle of life closes, all we have of any real value is our memories….
Thank God Artie that you have a lot of good ones.. Hang on to them, visit them
often… you can’t wear them out by remembering… ;-)))
Dear Artie,
may your Mum rest in peace for ever and ever , god bless her and you and your family .
Artie,
Your superb story deserves to stand alone from any streak.
Great that you can express your thoughts to us regarding your wonderful mother in such a touching style.
Bravo to you.
May your mother Rest In Peace.
Sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. Loved that top photo of your mom and dad.
What a beautiful tribute for a special lady. I am sorry for your loss but thankful it came after your time in San Diego. Elizabeth
Artie, Thank you for sharing such a well done eulogy, honoring & Providing insight into your mother’s & father’s lives. The special challenges, the successes they garnered using dedication hard work and love. The invaluable maternal caring tangibly demonstrating, love & support toward the entire family, you were all very fortunate. Good bless the soul of Hazel Louise Morris in her final place rest. Long may all her good deeds and love remain in the hearts of all her loved ones and In the hearts of all those who new and loved her. Our deepest condolences to all whom see touched.
Rest in internal peace.’
A beautiful tribute to your Mom & Dad. Lost my parents when they were in their 50’s & 60’s. Glad you were able to enjoy your Mom for so many years. Sorry for your loss. Thank you for your blog and all the teaching you do.
Beautifully written, Art. Lets us share in memories of a dedicated and wonderful life.
Thanks Artie, my condolences glad you posted great tribute to your mom. Very insightful.
What a beautiful and touching tribute to an amazing woman, Artie. The downside to a long life would seem to be the physical and mental burdens that accompany the years. I am glad your Mom is free of those now and that both of you are at peace. My very best to you and your / her family.
Thanks Kim, Funny that you should mention the mental burdens that accompany the years just after I returned from The School for the work and despite that fact that I did not mention these mental burdens. Why? Last week when I visited my Mom on what would become her deathbed, I held her hand and asked her, “Are you in pain?” She said yes, but only mental pain.”
I actually did a bit of The Work with her on her most stressful thought, “Hazel might faint.” And it actually seemed to bring her some peace. The premise of The Work is that the only pain, suffering, and stress that we experience is due to believing our our unquestioned thoughts and stories. Finding peace is just a matter of holding our thoughts and beliefs up to inquiry: write ’em down, ask the four questions, do the Turnarounds, and consider which turnarounds might be more true than the original statement.
Many will react by saying or thinking that it can’t be that simple. I would ask, “Is that true?” and then hold it up to inquiry. For me the process has already worked miracles and I have just begun.
with love, artie
ps: all can learn the basics of the work at http://www.TheWork.com